The Valley of Gwangi (1969)

"Ladies and Gentlemen!  What you are about to see, has never been seen before by human eyes! "

 

Okay, where do I begin with Gwangi?

First, you've got to give this movie credit for trying to do something you almost never see:  combine the Western with the dinosaur Creature Feature.  The result is definitely fun, so if you haven't had a chance to watch this yet, I highly recommend you go track down the DVD.  It's a nice release, though the picture's a bit grainy and its sparse on extras (outside a nice little documentary about the influence of the film and Harryhausen's work on modern visual effects).

The movie has an interesting genesis:  it was originally conceived by the legendary Willis O'Brien, the special effects wizard behind the original King Kong, in 1942 as "Gwangi" (although I've read elsewhere it was titled "The Valley of the Mists").  In O'Brien's original story, a Tyrannosaurus Rex would have been discovered in the Grand Canyon, captured, and sold to a rodeo.  Inevitably, the creature would escape and go on a rampage, before at last being forced off a cliff by a truck driven by the hero.  The script wasn't picked up and eventually forgotten.  O'Brien did go on to make a cowboys-and-dinosaurs flick - The Beast of Hollow Mountain - but never saw "Gwangi" become anything more than a pipe dream before he passed away in 1962.

That is, until it was rediscovered over twenty-five years later by O'Brien's protege, the equally legendary Ray Harryhausen.  According to Harryhausen, he and Charles Schneer (the producer of many 1950s and '60s sci-fi/fantasy films) had been looking for a new project when he found the script in the back of his garage, of all places.  They passed it to screenwriter William Bast, mostly known for writing TV shows like Perry Mason and The Outer Limits, to update the script.  The setting was moved back from the 1940s to the turn-of-the-century, and the film retitled "The Valley of Gwangi".  Schneer and Harryhausen attached British director Jim O'Connolly (according to IMDB and Wikipedia, he seems to have never direct a Western or Fantasy film before) to direct, and cast James Franciscus (you'll best remember him as the John Brent, the second astronaut in Beneath the Planet of the Apes), Gila Golan (an Israeli fashion model and actress, this would be her last American film) and Richard Carlson (who'd starred in several other monster movies:  It Came from Outer Space, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and The Magnetic Monsters).

But, what about the movie itself? 

The Valley of Gwangi opens in a desolate desert canyon as a troupe of Mexican Gypsies (what the hell?) are searching for a missing man, Miguel.

I think we're lost.

They find Miguel, but just a bit too late:  he drops dead after whispering one mysterious word:  "Gwangi...!"  His brother, Carlos (Gustavo Rojo), takes the sack he died to protect, but is warned by an old blind woman to leave it or be cursed by "Gwangi, the Evil One".  Naturally, Carlos ignores the warning and leaves as the open credits roll.

When the movie resumes, we're told we're "Somewhere South of the Rio Grande .......At the turn of the Century".  .......What's with all the ellipses?  O_o()

Anyways, the circus is in town!  Specifically, the Breckenridge Wild West Show, a "Cowboy and Indian War Rodeo".  Amongst the spectators at the parade is Tuck Kirby (James Franciscus), an American in town for business.  Tuck immediately meets...oh god...

Did you think you could escape me, Señor?

...It's Kenny.

If you know anything about Giant Monster movies, you know this kid.  He comes in all shapes and sizes, but he's best known as "Kenny", after the character from Gamera the Invincible.  He is annoying.  He's useless.  And, perhaps worst of all, a complete idiot.  I think he's meant to be the comic relief, but in the end just irritates the crap out of the viewer.  ARGH!

This incarnation is an orphan named Lope (Curtis Arden), and he hussles Tuck into hiring him as a guide to the arena where the Breckenridge circus is performing, two miles out of town.  Wait, if he wanted to know where the arena was, why didn't he just follow the parade?  o_O  Anyway, by the time they get there the show is already underway and Tuck runs into Champ (Richard Carlson), the show's ringmaster.  Turns out Tuck used to be in the show and in a relationship with the show's star and owner, T. J. Breckenridge (Gila Golan), but skipped out on everyone for his own greedy purposes.

I'm one smug prick, aren't I?

Tuck isn't here for any sort of reconciliation, either:  he's come on behalf of Buffalo Bill to buy Omar the Wonder Horse, the centerpiece of the circus' grand finale, off T. J.  Furious at the obvious attempt to con the circus when it's already doing poorly (and still bitter after he left her), T. J. kicks him out.

As Tuck and Lope make their way back to town, they run into another of Lope's clients:  Professor Bromley (Laurence Naismith), a British Paleontologist who's come to the Mexican desert in search of fossils proving his "Theory of the Humanoid" - a crazy idea that Humans evolved 50 million years ago rather than only 1 million (which is bunk, considering Wikipedia says modern Humans emerged only 200,000 years ago).  As evidence, he unveils a fossil he discovered:  a thigh bone alongside the fossilized footprints of an Eohippus, a tiny prehistoric three-toed ancestor of modern horses, which he claims is "over 50 million years old!" (Which, surprisingly, is about right.  I guess Bast only bothered to look up one date?)

The next day, Tuck and Lope head back to the arena.  It turns out Carlos now works for T. J.'s circus, and not only that it seems he wants T. J. to be his girl!  (She doesn't seem interested.)  Tuck, not one to take "no" for an answer, tries to talk T. J. into selling Omar again.  He doesn't seem to have much luck, but with somebody as smooth talking as Tuck you never...

IDIOT.

Wow.  Just wow.  That's one of the dumber things I've seen a Kenny do.  And this was completely without provocation!  O_o

Of course, Tuck has to jump into the arena to save Lope, getting himself nearly killed by the bull in the process.  Carlos jumps in too and wrestles with the bull until some other cowboys can distract it, saving Tuck's life.  Seeing her former lover in such peril suddenly breaks T. J.'s frigid facade:  she not only suddenly proclaims her love, the two have a full reconciliation and are practically together again.

That was...um...fast.

Pressing his luck, Tuck brings up Omar again...and now T. J. is suddenly willing to sell.  Huh?  Tuck is just as confused by the sudden change in heart, but it turns out T. J. doesn't really need Omar anymore - she has a new act.  One rather suggestive cross dissolve later, and T. J. reveals this secret new act:  a tiny horse named El Diablo! 

KAWAII!! ♥

Turns out this little critter is what was kicking and screaming in the sack Carlos had taken from Miguel's corpse in the opening scene.  Tuck is impressed, but notices the three toes on the little horse's feet and fetches Professor Bromley, who declares that it's a surviving Eohippus!  That news puts dollar signs in Tuck's eyes, and dreams of knighthood in Bromley's head.  They question Carlos where he found El Diablo, but in trying not to tell them anything gives away that it came from "Forbidden Valley" and that Tia Zorina, the old woman from the beginning of the movie, knows where it is.  Tuck, Bromley, and Lope track down the gypsies and ask Tia Zorina for help, but she refuses to tell them where the valley is.  While Tuck accepts this as a dead end, Bromley hatches a scheme:  he tells Tia Zorina where T. J. and Carlos are hiding El Diablo, knowing she'd send people to steal him and take him back to the valley...while he secretly follows!

The next day, Tuck is having a crisis of conscience over whether or not to tell T. J. about how valuable El Diablo really is when Lope lets slip that he's meeting the Professor with a mule packed for an expedition outside the arena after dark.

There's nothing suspicious about that at all, Señor.

Figuring it was time to start playing the Hero, Tuck rushes off to the arena but is too late:  the gypsies (led by Tia Zorina's vertically challenged friend) have already conked Carlos over the head and run off with El Diablo.  Tuck chases after them, but not before being spotted by Carlos, Champ, and T. J., who all assume he was in cahoots with Carlos' people and chase after him as well, not far behind Bromley and Lope, who round out this merry little conga line.

Eventually, Tuck stops to take a break, long enough for Bromley and Lope to catch up and take a break on the other side of the same rock.  Tuck jumps the Professor, but the Limey talks his way out of an old-fashioned Western pummeling by pointing out that, where there's one Eohippus, there's liable to be more.  

Tuck agrees to ride with Bromley and Lope the rest of the way to Forbidden Valley, but stops short of shaking hands on any official partnership.  It's not long before they come across an immense ring of mountains:  clearly, they've arrived.  If there was any doubt, their landscape ogling is interrupted by a monstrous screech and a quick shot of a Pterodactyl carrying away one of the mules!  Next morning, our trio stumbles across T. J. & Co.'s camp (Carlos showed them a short cut to the valley) and Tuck gets roped up by his furious girlfriend.  Before they can clear up the misunderstanding, El Diablo happens to wander into their camp and distracts everyone.

SUPA KAWAII!!  ♥

The cowboys drop everything and try to catch the little horse, but fail and he escapes through a crevice in the rock wall. Champ realizes the hole opens up on the other side, so they smash open an entrance and ride on through into Forbidden Valley.  Things turn south pretty quick:  the Pterodactyl comes back and attacks, plucking Lope from his horse and flying off with him.

WHEEE!!

Our heroes ride to the rescue!  T. J. pulls Lope to safety, while Carlos decides that Pterodactyls aren't any scarier than stampeding bulls and leaps into a wrestling match with it, ultimately snapping its neck.

Carlos is officially badass!

Meanwhile, Tuck, Champ, and a couple guys from the circus stumble across an Orithomimus, a pink horse-sized dinosaur and relative of the somewhat more famous Gallimimus featured in Jurassic Park.  They've got no clue what it is, but decide to catch it for the circus.  That attempt ends, quick, when - in a scene that clearly inspired the T-Rex/Gallimimus scene in Jurassic Park - Gwangi, at last, emerges and snatches up the poor little guy.

It only took me 50 minutes to appear in my own movie!

They do what any man would do in that situation:  turn tail and run!  Things might've ended right there had one numbskull not decided to take a pot shot at Gwangi with his rifle - as expected, it does nothing besides get the giant lizard's attention.  Tuck & co. rejoin the others and everyone decided to high-tail it out of the valley except for the Professor, who outright refuses to leave.  Only moments after leaving him behind does Gwangi come around the bend and Bromley realize his mistake.

Of course, escape won't be quite so easy for our heroes either:  their route is blocked by a marauding Styracosaurus, who immediately challenges Gwangi to a fight while the Professor watches from the safety of a nearby cave.  Gwangi, more interested in eating the Pterodactyl Carlos killed earlier than fighting, backs down and runs off with his dinner.  The rest of our heroes, not sure what else to do, find a large cave and pitch camp for the night.  Finally taking a moment to rest, Champ takes a look at the guns the circus posse and realizes Rowdy (Dennis Kilbane) had loaded them with blanks rather than real bullets, explaining why shooting the dinosaurs has had no effect.  Tuck suggests taking some branches and cutting them down to spears, but Rowdy comments that he doesn't take orders from a horse thief - which of course leads Tuck's fist to Rowdy's jaw.  Lope explains that it was the Professor and the Gypsies who stole El Diablo, and everybody from the circus feels mighty foolish for making assumptions.

That night Tuck and the others build a trap, a hole in the ground hidden by broken branches, hoping to catch another Orithomimus or Eohippus if they wander by.  T. J. confides in Tuck that she wants to sell the show so the two can be together.  Tuck isn't so sure he's read for another relationship, but T. J.'s adamancy convinces him.  The two decide to settle down together, buy a ranch in Wyoming, and start a family.  This nice quiet moment is interrupted by a crash as something gets caught in the trap, a bit of tension quickly dispersed when everyone realizes the Professor has absent-mindedly stumbled into their hole.

"Great Scott!"

Next morning, Tuck decides to refill his canteen at a nearby stream before they make a second attempt to escape.  Unfortunately, Gwangi spots him and gives chase back to the cave, where Tuck falls off his horse.  As everyone else tries to fight Gwangi off with spears (and a blanket?  O_o), Tuck hides in the nearby rocks.  When Carlos falls out of the cave, Tuck grabs a torch and distracts Gwangi long enough for Carlos to escape, then makes another run for it.  Just as Tuck seems cornered, the rest of our heroes arrive on horseback and start a rather ballsy attempt to lasso the Allosaurus.

This idea is both AWESOME and ASININE.

There's really no way to express how cool an idea this is, nor how impressive the sequence is.

Just as it seems the cowboys have turned the tables on Gwangi, the big beast's  rival, the Styracosaurus, arrives!  Gwangi breaks free of the ropes and the dinosaurs do battle, trapping the cowboys between a giant fire (started by an errant torch earlier) and the fighting dinos.   

Fight!  Fight!  Fight

Though it seems the Styracosaurus might me able to beat Gwangi, Carlos decides to intervene and stab the creature with one of the spears, which gives Gwangi the edge he needed to win.  Our heroes decide to make a break for it, but Gwangi decides to abandon the all-but-dead Styracosaurus and gives chase, ultimately catching (and presumably eating) Carlos.

Everyone else makes it out and Gwangi, determined to catch them, tries to squeeze his way through the valley's entrance, causing a rockslide that knocks him out cold.  Tuck takes the initiative and ties Gwangi's jaws shut, while Champ declares that they're going to lug him back to the circus alive.  They build a massive cage on wheels to cart Gwangi back to the circus, but on the road run into Tia Zorina who warns them to return Gwangi to Forbidden Valley or be doomed.  Bromley completely dismisses her warning as idle superstitious nonsense and the group carries on.

"A giant man-eating pox upon your house!"

Some time passes and the circus is now in another, much larger, town (presumably the previously mentioned city of Villarosa) where the circus is showcasing Gwangi for the first time to a sold out arena.  Bromley, however, is furious that Gwangi is being displayed at the circus rather than be turned over for scientific research.  T. J. dismisses his fury, asserting that Gwangi is her property and that he can conduct his research in the time she allots as the circus goes on their "World Tour" - a comment that piques Tuck's interest.  As Bromley storms out, threatening to report them to the Royal Society, Tuck asks where all this "World Tour" talk is coming from - he thought this would be the last show, that she'd sell out and they'd settle down in Wyoming like they talked about.  She suggests they settle down after the world tour, but realizing that T. J.'s going down the same greedy path he'd traveled, decides that's not good enough and walks out.  Lope warns T. J. that thanks to his pride, if she lets him go Tuck will never come back and urges her to go after him.  She does so, and although we never hear what she tells him it's clear they reconcile again.

Meanwhile, Tia Zorina and her short friend arrive at the arena amidst the crowds of spectators.  Zorina's sidekick sneaks into Gwangi's cage and loosens the bolts, but gets himself eaten just as the curtains are raised.  

[Insert your own inappropriate height-related joke here.]

Gwangi breaks free (squashing the Professor in the process) and fights the circus' elephant as the spectators stampede from the arena.  Tuck and others grab guns and go after Gwangi as he rampages through Villarosa, everyone eventually making their way to the cathedral in the center of town. 

"Ah!  My opportunity to one-up Godzilla and King Kong at the same time!"

They try to bar the doors shut, but Gwangi forces his way inside (luckily most everyone else had already ran out the back door) so Tuck decides to lock himself inside with the beast.  T. J. and Lope are also trapped inside, but Tuck manages to save them and start a fire, which engulfs the entire cathedral - and Gwangi along with it.

The film ends as everyone watches the cathedral burn to the ground.

So, what did you think of it?

I liked it!

I love the idea of cowboys-and-dinosaurs, and Gwangi is probably the best ever attempt at it.  The story is more or less a remake of King Kong reset to the Wild West, but it's a good retelling with likeable characters, nice visual effects, and a few unique twists on the whole idea.  The soundtrack was good, although not particularly memorable, and although I like the Old West setting the desert panoramas kinda get a little boring after a while.

Perhaps my biggest gripe with the movie is how long it takes before we actually see any dinosaurs!  Except for El Diablo the Eohippus, we don't get to see any prehistoric monsters until about 40 minutes in, and we don't meet our title character until a full 50 minutes into the film!  Granted, King Kong took about as long in 1933 (Kong himself doesn't appear until 45 minutes in), but I guess it just hurts a bit more here since Gwangi isn't as commanding onscreen as Kong.  Gwangi doesn't take over the movie the way Kong does, and as much as I like him I really wish I could've seen him a bit more.

Luckily, the main plot for the first half of the film with the machinations of Tuck, Bromley, the Circus, and the Gypsies over the little horse made for a pretty entertaining film in and of itself, so I don't have much to complain about.  I can imagine the appearance of the dinosaurs being a much bigger surprise in 1969 had I not heard of the movie before and went into it blind - there's really no hint that this will turn into a dinosaur flick before they reach Forbidden Valley halfway through the movie.

Next time, we'll take a look at some of the monsters stars of this flick!  Until then, I hope this makes a good apology for taking so SO long to update.  ^_^()

Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #1 - 3

My favorite giant monster, hands down, is Godzilla, and I would be remiss if I didn't discuss the recent comic book series from IDW!  Here are my thoughts on issues #1 - 3, originally posted on the Monster Zero Forums.

Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #1 (March 2011)

 

 First thing's first: HOORAY! Best Birthday present in a LONG time! XD

I knew there would be multiple covers, but I found myself REALLY torn when I arrived at my local comic shop to find four different cover PLUS a custom cover of Goji smashing the store. I ultimately went with the awesome fold-around cover feature Goji, Mothra, Rodan, Kumonga, Ghidorah, and Anguirus and the Custom cover. All the better to support the store and the series!

First couple pages remind me of a late Showa film coupled with Goji's introduction in MvG, but twisted to show that this isn't going to be the kid-friendly Godzilla. Those kids didn't get eaten, but they'll be lucky to survive that fall!

The story moves along FAST. We have a TON of characters thrown at us in the first 10/11 pages: the kids (Isamu and Kameko, their father (the Fisherman), a Mother who watches her husband get killed trying to save an old woman, some sort of Cop/Soldier...except for the kids, none of them get much more than a page of spotlight, so the story just seems to be blazing by frantically. It actually gets the intensity of a daikaiju attack down, but ends up a very quick read. This climaxes with the JASDF launching jets to confront Godzilla (and the expected results).

FINALLY, the story slows down and provides some context. We're introduced to the Prime Minister and a General (in a control room that looks like something from G-Force HQ in the Heisei films). We're told that initial attack occurred on Niijima (one of the Izu Islands) and that they're as bewildered as the reader. The General immediately suggests the Nuclear option. Really? Granted, nowadays anything that survives an airstrike would probably scare the crap out of any 1st World military, but you're just going to go straight to nukes? Also, I'm fairly certain Japan doesn't have nukes IRL... Odd.

Nuke attack fails (LOL) and grants Goji his nuclear breath. Awesome! I like this, it seems a neat new twist on the old idea. Three hours later, Tokyo is being smashed, but unfortunately for only a two page spread. I hope we see more of Tokyo in Issue 2!

Finally, we cut to the White House where Obama is informed of what's happening. I have no issue with Obama being included - he's the US President and comic artists love that a comic geek is in the Oval Office - but, my problem is: it's taken over three HOURS for news of this to reach him? Hell, they imply CNN had already picked up the story and was running live coverage BEFORE he found out! What the hell has the CIA being doing all this time? There's been most of a day, or at least an afternoon, since this Issue started...WTH?

Overall: I'll give it a 3 out of 5. A nice start, but I hope the pacing slows down a bit in future issues and the actual story starts to become clearer. I know they don't intend any recurring characters, but I hope that at least pick somebody to focus on each issue - they've already introduced a good seven or so to work with, so hopefully we can get some spotlight on at least one of them.

- - -

Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #2 (April 2011)

Once again, Godzilla #2 had variant covers. I grabbed the Phil Hester (Godzilla alone in the rubble of Tokyo) version and the awesome (but ludicriously expensive) Matt Frank cover with Rodan.  Issue #2 opens with the Fisherman from last issue, the father of Isamu and Kameko (the children from the opening of Issue #1). He's evacuated from Niijima to Tokyo and quickly finds himself caught up in Godzilla's attack again. I'm glad they decided to stick with him, Issue #1 introduced a lot of characters but didn't give us much time to know any of them.

We switch to Moscow. Some kids are on a field trip to the museum and visiting the Tunguska exhibit when an earthquake hits. Do they even get earthquakes in Moscow? A kid, Mikhail, steals a stone from the exhibit and is evacuated, only to witness a flock of birds drop dead from the sky. Very apocalyptic!

Now in Mexico, some rancheros find a herd of dead cows - then Angurius bursts from the ground! Awesome! Not necessarily sure if this needed to be a two-page spread (I've watched enough Atop the Fourth Wall to be leery of them), but cool nonetheless.

We quickly check back in with the Fisherman, who seems to be making some sort of makeshift weapon from a cache of bombs he found, but it's only a brief two panel interlude 'cause we're then back in Moscow: Mikhail returns home, where his mother is watching the news. The Russian reporter and Mikhail's mom scoff at the claims of giant monsters running amok, despite video evidence. WTH? Is this skepticism for the sake of skepticism?  Anyways, Mikhail goes to his room (geez this kid has a lot of pets) and is amazed when the rock crumbles to reveal an egg...which immediately hatches a baby Rodan!  I can already predict some people are going to be pissed at this development, but I'd like to stress they only suggested that the egg came from the Tunguska meteor - they're kind of ambiguous about what caused the Tunguska event, so it could very well have been volcanic. Mikhail leaves for hockey practice, promising to feed his neighbor's cat to Rodan. Really, kid? What's wrong with you?

Back to Mexico, where Anguirus literally rolls onto the scene to start smashing a village! It quickly cuts to the Pentagon, where the President is being briefed on Godzilla and Anguirus' rampages. They discuss what to do, but the President is discouraged from offering humanitarian aid to Japan because the monsters are still rampaging.

Mikhail returns with the cat...only to find Rodan has grown HUGE (at least the size of a person) and eaten all his pets. They don't show it, but Rodan then eats the kid (he spits out the hockey stick), bursts through the roof, and flies off (ironically, the cat survives). Wait...Rodan attacks Moscow! LOL! It's a total homage to Destroy All Monsters! Awesome!

Back at the White House, the President is holding a press conference on the monster attacks. The scene actually brings up a really interesting question: what, realistically, should the government do about this? The President has decided to assemble the scientists, engineers, and military leaders to come up with a plan (basically, the strategy employed in GKOTM), but the journalists argue the military should be sent in now (the strategy most often seen in kaiju films). IMO, the scene actually introduces the debate rather well and doesn't treat either side as inherently wrong. Nicely done!

Cut to Texas, and a strawman conservative Texan governor is touting his border fence to a reporter when Anguirus smashes it. The governor is clearly a take that at Republicans, but I think they we're trying to play it for laughs. Interestingly, they finally name the President: Ogden. Although we all assumed the character actually was Obama, it seems he's really just lookalike stand-in, which is good because it gives them more wiggle room with the character.

Finally, back in Japan, Godzilla's rampage has stretched all the way to Yokohama now. The Fisherman, in a twist that I really should've picked up on sooner since it's now so obvious in retrospect, has used the bombs he found to turn himself into a suicide bomber. In a futile attempt to kill Godzilla, he throws himself off a skyscraper and blasts himself on Goji's nose. Wow, that was a sad ending...though, now I have to ask: what happened to this guy's family? Did he have a wife? Are Isamu and Kameko really dead (my money's on no, to make his death even more meaningless)?

Overall: I'm going to give this a 4 out of 5. Definitely an improvement over Issue #1! The pacing is much more relaxed and the story more focused, splitting itself into three plotlines roughly associated with the three monsters: the Fisherman and Godzilla in Japan; Mikhail and Rodan in Moscow; and Ogden and Anguirus in America. I get the feeling this issue is going to be much more typical of the series: multiple storylines centering on incidental characters and their (probably often fatal) run-ins with the monsters. I also suspect (and had his suspicion from the moment they said there'd be no main human cast) that Ogden is probably going to be one of the only recurring human characters - which, again, I kind of expected (he IS the US President, after all).

No real preview for next issue (the back cover has Godzilla fighting Rodan and Anguirus, but I doubt that's going to happen so soon). Personally, I'm excited! I very much like the direction this is going in now. ^_^

- - -

Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #3 (May 2011)

Since I was buying three other comic books, I decided to pick up only one copy of #3. I didn't care for Powell's cover or Hester's cover (though Hester's was cool), so I just stuck with Frank's awesome Anguirus cover. ^_^

Issue #3 opens in Cherbourg, France with two shadowy twin girls with somewhat menacing, vacant expressions. An unidentified man and woman discuss how they're problem children, but appear clueless as to how they're a problem since they are mute.  

The next page immediately cuts to the United Nations in New York City, where the Japanese scientist from Issue #1 officially names Godzilla, Rodan, and Anguirus. All three monsters look cool in the brief shots here, especially Rodan who now looks just like his '56 incarnation!

Page 3 cuts to San Antonio, Texas (although it looks like the countryside to me...maybe they meant Bexar County outside San Antonio? Anyway, we meet a couple of rednecks - Billy Ray and Bobby Ray - who've decided they're going to try to kill Anguirus themselves with nothing more than a hunting rifle and their pickup.

...Right.

Page 4, and we're back in France with the twins. (Geez, this issue is jumping around a lot!) A few kids are kicking around a soccer ball in the schoolyard and talking about Godzilla ("I hope the army kills it!" "I think he's cool!") when one accidentally kicks a ball at the girls. All of a sudden a monster bursts out of the ground and attacks him! Apparently it's all in his head, though, and the other kids gather around confused. I guess the Evil Twins can cause psychic hallucinations?

Now we cut to the Korean DMZ, where Godzilla comes ashore and marches across into North Korea. It's short, the comments by the guards are throwaway jokes, and I'm pretty much convinced it's only included 'cause someone realized they were going to have a whole issue where Goji didn't show up. ^_^()

After Godzilla's cameo, we're back in France. The kids are now playing on the beach and talking about what happened to kid earlier (Lucas), and have already guessed that the Evil Twins had something to do with it. They're there too, but aren't paying attention to the others: they've found a giant egg! Since the series so far has been following the order the monsters appeared, I'm going to assume this is Mothra's egg (as we've been theorizing for a while) and that the Evil Twins are a reinterpretation of the Shobijin. Not bad, but definitely intriguing! Also, we finally learn their names: Minette and Mallory.

And now... Lady Gaga?  O_o 

No, it's "Girly Yaya", a parody of the pop singer performing at the "Tunes TV Awards". Seems Girly Yaya is an extreme environmentalist and involved with a group called "Monster Equality and Living Standards", a PETA or Greenpeace-type group, and thinks the government should let Godzilla & co. wreak havoc. Psycho, much? ^_^() We're also introduced to Gochu, a Korean rapper, who accuses President Ogden of not caring about Asian people - a comment that gets under the President's skin when he hears it on his smartphone. Like Godzilla, Ogden's appearance is more cameo than anything else: just long enough to inform him that the US Military is still tracking the monsters, that UN is helping evacuate afflicted areas, and that the Evil Twins found the Egg in France.

Speaking of the Egg, we cut back to France where a crowd of onlookers has gathered around it. Suddenly, a swarm of locusts appears and descends on the people! Everyone panics, but one woman stops when she realizes that he insects are all dead - continuing the trend preceding the last three monsters (fish for Godzilla, cattle for Anguirus, and birds for Rodan).

Cut back to Texas for only one page: Billy Ray and Bobby Ray take on Anguirus. They get squashed. What was the point of this subplot?

Back to France! The military has finally arrived and, not taking any chances, they've wired the Egg to blow. Unfortunately for them, the Evil twins won't have that... Lady Gaga again? We cut to Times Square in New York City for three panels where Girly Yaya is leading a MEAL rally opposing the French government's decision to destroy the Egg. After that brief diversion, we get back to the action: Minette and Mallory sneak through the perimeter and telepathically take out the soldiers (they don't show it, but I assume it's through more psychic hallucinations). Then, the Egg hatches to reveal...BATTRA?!! O_O The writers have pulled a fast one on us!

Our comic ends on a tropical island, where an old man watching Battra hatch on TV turns to tell the REAL Shobijin - the foot-tall native girls just as we remember them - that "something has gone horribly wrong!"

Overall: I'm going to give this one a 3.5 out of 5. Not as good as Issue #2, mainly because the comic lets itself get bogged down with unnecessary stuff: as dumb as it may sound, Godzilla and Anguirus were entirely unnecessary here and their scenes should've been cut. If you needed one, then Godzilla's was okay (it establishes that he's North Korea now, at least), but the Anguirus/Billy Ray and Bobby Ray subplot is entirely pointless - it's two pages long, entirely out of context, and serves no purpose besides giving Anguirus some page time - pages that would've been better served, IMO, attempting to flesh out Girly Yaya and MEAL, who I think they're attempting to establish as antagonists/misguided villains.

The main story, though? That was great! They set up Minette and Mallory as creepy and credible villains, and the twist that they're Battra's twins is genius! It never occurred to me to give Battra his own set of twins, and it fits perfectly in with the "Evil Mothra" concept. I'm also ecstatic to see the actual Shobijin appear, albeit briefly, in the comic - I think this issue was probably overall very important in establishing more of the recurring characters (so, along with President Ogden, we now have Minette & Mallory, the Shobijin, and IMO Girly Yaya).

Definitely a good issue, just dragged down a bit by extra unneeded junk.

Well, I'm looking forward to next month!  Not only do we get Godzilla #4, but also a new miniseries, Godzilla: Gangsters & Goliaths #1!  ^_^

I Love Giant Monster Movies!

I'm Pkmatrix, and I love giant monster movies!  From King Kong to Godzilla, The Lost World to Cloverfield, I can't get enough of these creature features.  I've got a burgeoning collection of movies, built up after nearly twenty years of giant monster fandom, and I figure it'd be hella fun to shamelessly rip off those guys at Channel Awesome and review a few.

Thus, this blog was born!  ^_^

My plan of attack will be to pick random movies out of my collection, watch them, then write up a review for you guys (assuming anyone ever bothers to read this) to read, hopefully complemented by some pictures and my poor attempts at wit.  With summer vacation (well, my "mandatory three weeks in May that I'm technically laid off" vacation) just begun and a week or two worth of thunderstorms headed toward the New York City area, now seems a good a time as any to kick back and enjoy some good old-fashioned monster carnage!