The Valley of Gwangi (1969)

"Ladies and Gentlemen!  What you are about to see, has never been seen before by human eyes! "

 

Okay, where do I begin with Gwangi?

First, you've got to give this movie credit for trying to do something you almost never see:  combine the Western with the dinosaur Creature Feature.  The result is definitely fun, so if you haven't had a chance to watch this yet, I highly recommend you go track down the DVD.  It's a nice release, though the picture's a bit grainy and its sparse on extras (outside a nice little documentary about the influence of the film and Harryhausen's work on modern visual effects).

The movie has an interesting genesis:  it was originally conceived by the legendary Willis O'Brien, the special effects wizard behind the original King Kong, in 1942 as "Gwangi" (although I've read elsewhere it was titled "The Valley of the Mists").  In O'Brien's original story, a Tyrannosaurus Rex would have been discovered in the Grand Canyon, captured, and sold to a rodeo.  Inevitably, the creature would escape and go on a rampage, before at last being forced off a cliff by a truck driven by the hero.  The script wasn't picked up and eventually forgotten.  O'Brien did go on to make a cowboys-and-dinosaurs flick - The Beast of Hollow Mountain - but never saw "Gwangi" become anything more than a pipe dream before he passed away in 1962.

That is, until it was rediscovered over twenty-five years later by O'Brien's protege, the equally legendary Ray Harryhausen.  According to Harryhausen, he and Charles Schneer (the producer of many 1950s and '60s sci-fi/fantasy films) had been looking for a new project when he found the script in the back of his garage, of all places.  They passed it to screenwriter William Bast, mostly known for writing TV shows like Perry Mason and The Outer Limits, to update the script.  The setting was moved back from the 1940s to the turn-of-the-century, and the film retitled "The Valley of Gwangi".  Schneer and Harryhausen attached British director Jim O'Connolly (according to IMDB and Wikipedia, he seems to have never direct a Western or Fantasy film before) to direct, and cast James Franciscus (you'll best remember him as the John Brent, the second astronaut in Beneath the Planet of the Apes), Gila Golan (an Israeli fashion model and actress, this would be her last American film) and Richard Carlson (who'd starred in several other monster movies:  It Came from Outer Space, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and The Magnetic Monsters).

But, what about the movie itself? 

The Valley of Gwangi opens in a desolate desert canyon as a troupe of Mexican Gypsies (what the hell?) are searching for a missing man, Miguel.

I think we're lost.

They find Miguel, but just a bit too late:  he drops dead after whispering one mysterious word:  "Gwangi...!"  His brother, Carlos (Gustavo Rojo), takes the sack he died to protect, but is warned by an old blind woman to leave it or be cursed by "Gwangi, the Evil One".  Naturally, Carlos ignores the warning and leaves as the open credits roll.

When the movie resumes, we're told we're "Somewhere South of the Rio Grande .......At the turn of the Century".  .......What's with all the ellipses?  O_o()

Anyways, the circus is in town!  Specifically, the Breckenridge Wild West Show, a "Cowboy and Indian War Rodeo".  Amongst the spectators at the parade is Tuck Kirby (James Franciscus), an American in town for business.  Tuck immediately meets...oh god...

Did you think you could escape me, Señor?

...It's Kenny.

If you know anything about Giant Monster movies, you know this kid.  He comes in all shapes and sizes, but he's best known as "Kenny", after the character from Gamera the Invincible.  He is annoying.  He's useless.  And, perhaps worst of all, a complete idiot.  I think he's meant to be the comic relief, but in the end just irritates the crap out of the viewer.  ARGH!

This incarnation is an orphan named Lope (Curtis Arden), and he hussles Tuck into hiring him as a guide to the arena where the Breckenridge circus is performing, two miles out of town.  Wait, if he wanted to know where the arena was, why didn't he just follow the parade?  o_O  Anyway, by the time they get there the show is already underway and Tuck runs into Champ (Richard Carlson), the show's ringmaster.  Turns out Tuck used to be in the show and in a relationship with the show's star and owner, T. J. Breckenridge (Gila Golan), but skipped out on everyone for his own greedy purposes.

I'm one smug prick, aren't I?

Tuck isn't here for any sort of reconciliation, either:  he's come on behalf of Buffalo Bill to buy Omar the Wonder Horse, the centerpiece of the circus' grand finale, off T. J.  Furious at the obvious attempt to con the circus when it's already doing poorly (and still bitter after he left her), T. J. kicks him out.

As Tuck and Lope make their way back to town, they run into another of Lope's clients:  Professor Bromley (Laurence Naismith), a British Paleontologist who's come to the Mexican desert in search of fossils proving his "Theory of the Humanoid" - a crazy idea that Humans evolved 50 million years ago rather than only 1 million (which is bunk, considering Wikipedia says modern Humans emerged only 200,000 years ago).  As evidence, he unveils a fossil he discovered:  a thigh bone alongside the fossilized footprints of an Eohippus, a tiny prehistoric three-toed ancestor of modern horses, which he claims is "over 50 million years old!" (Which, surprisingly, is about right.  I guess Bast only bothered to look up one date?)

The next day, Tuck and Lope head back to the arena.  It turns out Carlos now works for T. J.'s circus, and not only that it seems he wants T. J. to be his girl!  (She doesn't seem interested.)  Tuck, not one to take "no" for an answer, tries to talk T. J. into selling Omar again.  He doesn't seem to have much luck, but with somebody as smooth talking as Tuck you never...

IDIOT.

Wow.  Just wow.  That's one of the dumber things I've seen a Kenny do.  And this was completely without provocation!  O_o

Of course, Tuck has to jump into the arena to save Lope, getting himself nearly killed by the bull in the process.  Carlos jumps in too and wrestles with the bull until some other cowboys can distract it, saving Tuck's life.  Seeing her former lover in such peril suddenly breaks T. J.'s frigid facade:  she not only suddenly proclaims her love, the two have a full reconciliation and are practically together again.

That was...um...fast.

Pressing his luck, Tuck brings up Omar again...and now T. J. is suddenly willing to sell.  Huh?  Tuck is just as confused by the sudden change in heart, but it turns out T. J. doesn't really need Omar anymore - she has a new act.  One rather suggestive cross dissolve later, and T. J. reveals this secret new act:  a tiny horse named El Diablo! 

KAWAII!! ♥

Turns out this little critter is what was kicking and screaming in the sack Carlos had taken from Miguel's corpse in the opening scene.  Tuck is impressed, but notices the three toes on the little horse's feet and fetches Professor Bromley, who declares that it's a surviving Eohippus!  That news puts dollar signs in Tuck's eyes, and dreams of knighthood in Bromley's head.  They question Carlos where he found El Diablo, but in trying not to tell them anything gives away that it came from "Forbidden Valley" and that Tia Zorina, the old woman from the beginning of the movie, knows where it is.  Tuck, Bromley, and Lope track down the gypsies and ask Tia Zorina for help, but she refuses to tell them where the valley is.  While Tuck accepts this as a dead end, Bromley hatches a scheme:  he tells Tia Zorina where T. J. and Carlos are hiding El Diablo, knowing she'd send people to steal him and take him back to the valley...while he secretly follows!

The next day, Tuck is having a crisis of conscience over whether or not to tell T. J. about how valuable El Diablo really is when Lope lets slip that he's meeting the Professor with a mule packed for an expedition outside the arena after dark.

There's nothing suspicious about that at all, Señor.

Figuring it was time to start playing the Hero, Tuck rushes off to the arena but is too late:  the gypsies (led by Tia Zorina's vertically challenged friend) have already conked Carlos over the head and run off with El Diablo.  Tuck chases after them, but not before being spotted by Carlos, Champ, and T. J., who all assume he was in cahoots with Carlos' people and chase after him as well, not far behind Bromley and Lope, who round out this merry little conga line.

Eventually, Tuck stops to take a break, long enough for Bromley and Lope to catch up and take a break on the other side of the same rock.  Tuck jumps the Professor, but the Limey talks his way out of an old-fashioned Western pummeling by pointing out that, where there's one Eohippus, there's liable to be more.  

Tuck agrees to ride with Bromley and Lope the rest of the way to Forbidden Valley, but stops short of shaking hands on any official partnership.  It's not long before they come across an immense ring of mountains:  clearly, they've arrived.  If there was any doubt, their landscape ogling is interrupted by a monstrous screech and a quick shot of a Pterodactyl carrying away one of the mules!  Next morning, our trio stumbles across T. J. & Co.'s camp (Carlos showed them a short cut to the valley) and Tuck gets roped up by his furious girlfriend.  Before they can clear up the misunderstanding, El Diablo happens to wander into their camp and distracts everyone.

SUPA KAWAII!!  ♥

The cowboys drop everything and try to catch the little horse, but fail and he escapes through a crevice in the rock wall. Champ realizes the hole opens up on the other side, so they smash open an entrance and ride on through into Forbidden Valley.  Things turn south pretty quick:  the Pterodactyl comes back and attacks, plucking Lope from his horse and flying off with him.

WHEEE!!

Our heroes ride to the rescue!  T. J. pulls Lope to safety, while Carlos decides that Pterodactyls aren't any scarier than stampeding bulls and leaps into a wrestling match with it, ultimately snapping its neck.

Carlos is officially badass!

Meanwhile, Tuck, Champ, and a couple guys from the circus stumble across an Orithomimus, a pink horse-sized dinosaur and relative of the somewhat more famous Gallimimus featured in Jurassic Park.  They've got no clue what it is, but decide to catch it for the circus.  That attempt ends, quick, when - in a scene that clearly inspired the T-Rex/Gallimimus scene in Jurassic Park - Gwangi, at last, emerges and snatches up the poor little guy.

It only took me 50 minutes to appear in my own movie!

They do what any man would do in that situation:  turn tail and run!  Things might've ended right there had one numbskull not decided to take a pot shot at Gwangi with his rifle - as expected, it does nothing besides get the giant lizard's attention.  Tuck & co. rejoin the others and everyone decided to high-tail it out of the valley except for the Professor, who outright refuses to leave.  Only moments after leaving him behind does Gwangi come around the bend and Bromley realize his mistake.

Of course, escape won't be quite so easy for our heroes either:  their route is blocked by a marauding Styracosaurus, who immediately challenges Gwangi to a fight while the Professor watches from the safety of a nearby cave.  Gwangi, more interested in eating the Pterodactyl Carlos killed earlier than fighting, backs down and runs off with his dinner.  The rest of our heroes, not sure what else to do, find a large cave and pitch camp for the night.  Finally taking a moment to rest, Champ takes a look at the guns the circus posse and realizes Rowdy (Dennis Kilbane) had loaded them with blanks rather than real bullets, explaining why shooting the dinosaurs has had no effect.  Tuck suggests taking some branches and cutting them down to spears, but Rowdy comments that he doesn't take orders from a horse thief - which of course leads Tuck's fist to Rowdy's jaw.  Lope explains that it was the Professor and the Gypsies who stole El Diablo, and everybody from the circus feels mighty foolish for making assumptions.

That night Tuck and the others build a trap, a hole in the ground hidden by broken branches, hoping to catch another Orithomimus or Eohippus if they wander by.  T. J. confides in Tuck that she wants to sell the show so the two can be together.  Tuck isn't so sure he's read for another relationship, but T. J.'s adamancy convinces him.  The two decide to settle down together, buy a ranch in Wyoming, and start a family.  This nice quiet moment is interrupted by a crash as something gets caught in the trap, a bit of tension quickly dispersed when everyone realizes the Professor has absent-mindedly stumbled into their hole.

"Great Scott!"

Next morning, Tuck decides to refill his canteen at a nearby stream before they make a second attempt to escape.  Unfortunately, Gwangi spots him and gives chase back to the cave, where Tuck falls off his horse.  As everyone else tries to fight Gwangi off with spears (and a blanket?  O_o), Tuck hides in the nearby rocks.  When Carlos falls out of the cave, Tuck grabs a torch and distracts Gwangi long enough for Carlos to escape, then makes another run for it.  Just as Tuck seems cornered, the rest of our heroes arrive on horseback and start a rather ballsy attempt to lasso the Allosaurus.

This idea is both AWESOME and ASININE.

There's really no way to express how cool an idea this is, nor how impressive the sequence is.

Just as it seems the cowboys have turned the tables on Gwangi, the big beast's  rival, the Styracosaurus, arrives!  Gwangi breaks free of the ropes and the dinosaurs do battle, trapping the cowboys between a giant fire (started by an errant torch earlier) and the fighting dinos.   

Fight!  Fight!  Fight

Though it seems the Styracosaurus might me able to beat Gwangi, Carlos decides to intervene and stab the creature with one of the spears, which gives Gwangi the edge he needed to win.  Our heroes decide to make a break for it, but Gwangi decides to abandon the all-but-dead Styracosaurus and gives chase, ultimately catching (and presumably eating) Carlos.

Everyone else makes it out and Gwangi, determined to catch them, tries to squeeze his way through the valley's entrance, causing a rockslide that knocks him out cold.  Tuck takes the initiative and ties Gwangi's jaws shut, while Champ declares that they're going to lug him back to the circus alive.  They build a massive cage on wheels to cart Gwangi back to the circus, but on the road run into Tia Zorina who warns them to return Gwangi to Forbidden Valley or be doomed.  Bromley completely dismisses her warning as idle superstitious nonsense and the group carries on.

"A giant man-eating pox upon your house!"

Some time passes and the circus is now in another, much larger, town (presumably the previously mentioned city of Villarosa) where the circus is showcasing Gwangi for the first time to a sold out arena.  Bromley, however, is furious that Gwangi is being displayed at the circus rather than be turned over for scientific research.  T. J. dismisses his fury, asserting that Gwangi is her property and that he can conduct his research in the time she allots as the circus goes on their "World Tour" - a comment that piques Tuck's interest.  As Bromley storms out, threatening to report them to the Royal Society, Tuck asks where all this "World Tour" talk is coming from - he thought this would be the last show, that she'd sell out and they'd settle down in Wyoming like they talked about.  She suggests they settle down after the world tour, but realizing that T. J.'s going down the same greedy path he'd traveled, decides that's not good enough and walks out.  Lope warns T. J. that thanks to his pride, if she lets him go Tuck will never come back and urges her to go after him.  She does so, and although we never hear what she tells him it's clear they reconcile again.

Meanwhile, Tia Zorina and her short friend arrive at the arena amidst the crowds of spectators.  Zorina's sidekick sneaks into Gwangi's cage and loosens the bolts, but gets himself eaten just as the curtains are raised.  

[Insert your own inappropriate height-related joke here.]

Gwangi breaks free (squashing the Professor in the process) and fights the circus' elephant as the spectators stampede from the arena.  Tuck and others grab guns and go after Gwangi as he rampages through Villarosa, everyone eventually making their way to the cathedral in the center of town. 

"Ah!  My opportunity to one-up Godzilla and King Kong at the same time!"

They try to bar the doors shut, but Gwangi forces his way inside (luckily most everyone else had already ran out the back door) so Tuck decides to lock himself inside with the beast.  T. J. and Lope are also trapped inside, but Tuck manages to save them and start a fire, which engulfs the entire cathedral - and Gwangi along with it.

The film ends as everyone watches the cathedral burn to the ground.

So, what did you think of it?

I liked it!

I love the idea of cowboys-and-dinosaurs, and Gwangi is probably the best ever attempt at it.  The story is more or less a remake of King Kong reset to the Wild West, but it's a good retelling with likeable characters, nice visual effects, and a few unique twists on the whole idea.  The soundtrack was good, although not particularly memorable, and although I like the Old West setting the desert panoramas kinda get a little boring after a while.

Perhaps my biggest gripe with the movie is how long it takes before we actually see any dinosaurs!  Except for El Diablo the Eohippus, we don't get to see any prehistoric monsters until about 40 minutes in, and we don't meet our title character until a full 50 minutes into the film!  Granted, King Kong took about as long in 1933 (Kong himself doesn't appear until 45 minutes in), but I guess it just hurts a bit more here since Gwangi isn't as commanding onscreen as Kong.  Gwangi doesn't take over the movie the way Kong does, and as much as I like him I really wish I could've seen him a bit more.

Luckily, the main plot for the first half of the film with the machinations of Tuck, Bromley, the Circus, and the Gypsies over the little horse made for a pretty entertaining film in and of itself, so I don't have much to complain about.  I can imagine the appearance of the dinosaurs being a much bigger surprise in 1969 had I not heard of the movie before and went into it blind - there's really no hint that this will turn into a dinosaur flick before they reach Forbidden Valley halfway through the movie.

Next time, we'll take a look at some of the monsters stars of this flick!  Until then, I hope this makes a good apology for taking so SO long to update.  ^_^()